Are you in a hurry somewhere? Do you know where? And why?
Is something taking too long for your taste or are things not going the way you think they are supposed to?
A big part of the search (at least on my part) has been waiting for an answer, the next insight or whatever I thought/felt that I needed at the time. Often it was not a matter of too less effort, more likely a matter of too much effort. Even though both were probably necessary. Whatever I was pushing for was most likely never found, not at least in the way I expected. Probably I just stopped pushing and finally just gave up on whatever I was doing. Then some time later, when my mind was doing something completely different, came a flash of insight. Out of nowhere! Totally unexpected and unprepared something came up and I was led forward yet again. Until…well the same drill started all over again (and it hasn´t stopped).
Now I think that it is just a matter of waiting it out. Whatever you are stuck or struggling with, just wait. I am not saying that you can just give up and stop putting effort into this game but that everything is not up to you. Push but know that you need Grace also. Sometimes it is probably just a matter of collecting more information and then whenever you are ready it is given to you. Again, Grace.
In a way, we are always looking and waiting at the same time. Waiting for answers to come. Not really finding but looking for and ,even though we might not know it, waiting to receive our answers.
The deal is this. You need to push! However you do it, Push! But know that you also need to wait and that with waiting comes despair and depression. We don´t want to accept the fact that it is not always up to us. We might be stuck and feel without direction but at some point if you persist something will pop up. Even if all this was happening without us being aware of it.
Even if we don´t like it, we need to wait.